In general, flying with kids can be incredibly stressful. Flying with toddlers can sound like a downright nightmare. Flying with an autistic toddler? The potential for sensory overload, the crowded airport, the chance for delayed flights, and having to sit in a seat for hours on end? As hard as it can be sometimes, it can be done! We flew with our autistic toddler when he was only 2.5. And he did wonderfully! This was in late 2021, in the middle of the pandemic too! Here are my tips for flying with an autistic toddler and products that may make your trip easier on you.
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Our Experience
I want to share our family’s experience with flying with an autistic toddler. Our travels were rough. My husband is in the US military and we were moving back stateside after being stationed overseas for a few years. So we had no choice but to fly with our son. Our son, E, had been on a few flights as a baby during a trip to visit family but he had absolutely no memory of those flights. This was going to be a very new experience for him. We had three flights over the span of two days – and even had to sleep in the USO at an airport! But he did beautifully. That’s not me saying we didn’t have struggles. We definitely did. But truthfully, I went into it all expecting an absolute nightmare and it went incredibly well.
We were even lucky enough to meet some very nice people during our travels. At one airport, a woman stopped us after seeing my son’s shirt and told us she also had a child with autism and we were able to chat while waiting for our flight. Another very nice man bought him a little teddy bear when he saw how hard of a time he was having during our layover! I was so grateful that there were understanding and kind people around. I know that it could have gone very badly with people’s reactions to E and his meltdown, but we got really lucky.
Overall, we had a good experience. I also definitely learned some tips and tricks about flying with an autistic toddler that I want to share!
Tips for Flying With an Autistic Toddler
Bring a lot of comfort items and sensory toys.
I know this is kind of a “duh” moment for a lot of parents. I’m sure we all carry around a number of comfort items for our kids pretty much everyday. I know I definitely do! But something I’m really glad we made sure to do for our flights was bring a variety of comfort items for E. By bringing as much of a variety as we could, we were able to switch items out when one stopped helping as much. This included specific books, little toys, his weighted blanket, andanything else we could think of. I probably looked ridiculous, carrying around a giant bag (that somehow fit under the plane seat) full of random items I kept pulling out and passing to my son. But despite looking ridiculous, it worked. It really helped.
Comfort Items and Sensory Toys That Helped Us:
Don’t be afraid of a screen.
We try really hard to find a good balance between screen time and having his tablet put away. But honestly, during our flights, we didn’t care nearly as much about the amount of screen time E got. E has an older version of the Amazon Fire HD 8 Kids Tablet and we genuinely love it. It’s still something we use everyday and it was by far one of the most important things we brought on our flight. We were able to download his favorite books, movies, and games beforehand. When he really needed a distraction, it was perfect.
Try not to travel alone.
I know this isn’t always possible, but having both E’s father and I there made things so much easier. One of us could handle the majority of the luggage while the other focused on E. And when we needed a break we could switch. Most airports and airlines offer help to families that need it – especially families that have individuals with disabilities. But, I’m really glad that it wasn’t just one of us with E for the flights. It genuinely made things easier.
Wear a shirt that talks about autism.
Not everyone feels comfortable announcing their child’s disability to the world, and that’s completely understandable. We bought E a shirt that says “Autism is My Superpower” from Etsy. This is actually how the mom I mentioned earlier realized we were also an autism family. I think him having this shirt on really helped others realize and understand that E wasn’t just a toddler throwing a tantrum. I also wore an autism awareness shirt, but I wore a sweatshirt for most of our travels that covered it so that didn’t really matter.
Bring their car seat on the plane.
I recommend this for all parents for safety reasons. Here is an article from Car Seats for the Littles on the importance of car seats when flying. But, I also recommend bringing a car seat specifically for autistic kids for a different reason. And that is having something familiar. Your kid is already probably pretty used to their car seat. They may hate it, but they at least know it. So when in a new and potentially uncomfortable situation on a plane, their car seat may bring some familiarity and comfort to them. This was definitely the case for E. Also, having a place to trap him was great because he couldn’t just climb out of his seat every .2 seconds.
We actually checked his stroller with the rest of our normal luggage and used this car seat cart with his Britax Boulevard Clicktight convertible car seat and this was amazing for getting him around the airport. I loved it and it was by far the best way to transport him. He was safe, in a familiar seat, and we didn’t have to chase him around.
Don’t put yourself in a time crunch.
I know this can’t always be controlled when traveling. We definitely ended up in a time crunch at one point and ended up missing our connecting flight (hence the sleeping in the airport USO for a night) and it was so stressful. The next morning, when we had plenty of time before our flight, it was pretty great. While E was already stressed and overwhelmed from the previous night’s endeavors, it was really helpful to have time to let him explore the airport a little bit and work out some of his energy before we got on the plane. The next time our family flies I will make sure we have a few hours of time in-between flights so we aren’t rushing around again.
Breathe.
I know I constantly need to be reminded to breathe when planning family trips. So I want to remind you to breathe. Something will probably go wrong at some point. It’s going to be stressful. But it’s also going to be okay and you’re going to get through it.
Happy Travels!